One reason people behave in generally painful ways to others, is because they are full of pain. If you are full of pain from the past it doesn’t take much to trigger defensive and aggressive reactions.
This is because we hold all of our pain memory in our bodies and when something reminds us of it, without realising it, we do anything to avoid it. Rather than feel vulnerable to our pain, we prefer to block it out. In doing so, we actually become our own worst enemy by projecting that pain onto others, and deciding they are the cause of our feelings.
People often misunderstand that they are the source of their own pain, and not the other person. If you keep reacting aggressively to others and don’t understand why, you probably have suppressed pain. If you continually think that others are out to hurt you, there is a good chance you are creating these circumstances by projecting your own suppressed pain onto them.
Old sources of pain can be processed and in doing so we become aware of where the pain is originating from. Then our belief that others are out to hurt us can change and our relationships can improve.
Katie Kalin is a kinesiologist and coach from New Zealand with over 30 years experience of working with groups and individuals. She works with clients in her Cork based clinic and online. www.katiekalin.com
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