When is the best time to deal with our past?
The time to prioritise healing your past is when your body gives you signals that you are in distress. All past traumas are stored in your body in either muscle memory, DNA, or in your organs as energy, which gets every place in your body affected. This is because your organs are like a church organ that sends out sound or vibrational frequency which presents itself as happy or unhappy in your circulatory systems. These systems that circulate the body include your immune system, your hormonal system, blood system, lymph system, chi (universal energy system), physical nervous system, respiratory and waste systems.
How our systems work together
Your priority for healing won’t get your systems in balance straight away. This is because of the complexity of these systems all interacting with each other. Unless all organs are balanced and happy they don’t enable the others to engage correctly. This results in an energy imbalance in our chi (energy) system.
Your general health depends on all of your organs and energy carrier systems working together harmoniously. If there is a trauma caught up in any of these systems it creates a block and all the other systems have to try and compensate. When they do this your vital energy is compromised because it is like driving with the handbrake on, or having faulty fuel in our system which creates erratic power.
How our past affects others
All past events are stored in the subconscious body-mind. Our body-mind doesn’t know how to process these times of greate distress or confusion. Until they are processed they remain in our body and in our energy field which extends beyond our body. When they are in our energy field our children and others can easily absorb this energy and suffer from it as well. Many sensitive children are unwell today because they carry the stresses of the family or parents and sometimes ancestral baggage as well. The best thing you can do for a child who is continually unwell is to work on yourself to clear any repressed emotional baggage. Until this is done, the child is virtually carrying the burden of the forefathers and mothers. All repressed energy is handed down in families. As a parent this can be difficult to hear, but it is true.
The way that repressed energy creates dIs-ease
Auto-immune diseases and general energy related long term illnesses like depression, anxiety, cancer, heart irregularity issues, respiratory and digestive issues always have repressed emotional causes that underlie all of the other associated causes such as: being reliant on ways of engaging with our environment that help us to avoid our emotions. For example, eating down our feelings, drinking alchohol or taking drugs to suppress said feelings, or any type of distraction e.g. addiction to social media, addiction to solving others’ problems, or getting our needs met through being indispensable and so on.
All of these habits are justified in our minds as being our way of placing others before us which makes us a good person or acceptable. However in doing so we deliberately avoid our own journey. We put off our own need for support to process our own repressed feelings. Anyone who won’t put themselves first when they are unwell is addicted to avoiding their own needs for support and general nourishment. According to latest research this is a common trait in all people who suffer from auto-immune diseases.
Why our inner child needs our help
As a child we are unable to find the inner resources we need to process trauma. This could be any great loss in the child’s eyes or experiencing a period of bullying, exclusion, neglect or attack from others. When this happens the child needs support to understand what has gone on, step into their power, and stay whole as a person. Our exposure to great trauma as a child doesn’t heal with time alone, but with wisdom and support. Every child deserves this, but many don’t get it due to unawareness of what the child is going through, lack of parenting wisdom, time poverty, or lack of ability to get the support they need to help their child.
The best way to help a child with ongoing illness
We are now in a process of accellerating evolution and our needs are changing quickly. Until parents can understand their own need for healing, in cases of ongoing illness, they can’t really help their children very much. This is why every person must put themselves first. Not because it is selfish. In fact, its quite the opposite. Until adults prioritise their own healing, they are adding to the load of their offspring and future generations.
When you are ready to do this, find a process that suits you and start working on yourself and anything that has been repressed. A good therapist won’t have you delving around in the past for long. This is is just one way of finding the blocked energy for release. The main body of work is in creating a relationship with your inner child and reparenting yourself in the areas where you didn’t get what you needed.
This results in a splitting off from yourself and when this happens you won’t reintegrate yourself until you process the trauma that made it happen in the first place. When we are in this state of non-integration through trauma the child part of us seeks every way it can to avoid the feelings that come up around the issue. Why? Because you still have no idea how to process what happened and so the child is right to avoid these horrible memories.
The triggering process of childhood trauma in adulthood
However these old feelings can be triggered easily in your adult world. You won’t know what is happening but you will experience great distress when something happens that triggers an old trauma. Others will view it as you over-reacting to something that to them might seem trivial.
When we continually get triggered our inner child screams for help and we need to listen. When we stop and listen to what the child part of us is expressing and offer the support, education and unconditional love and acceptance that was needed at the time of the trauma, our child part can be relieved. Its important to learn why it wasn’t their fault and know that they are still acceptable and loved no matter what. This is a simplistic overview of the way one works with the inner child, but I mention it here to give you some idea of how I approach this work.
The road to wholeness
We can’t be happy and whole until we address the parts of ourselves which didn’t get what they needed to help us mature emotionally. This work can only be done by you but is absolutely do-able. It doesn’t take much energy and in fact it energises the person doing it.
I hope you can work towards your own wholeness for the good of yourself. You may be one of the many people who avoids yourself at all costs by focusing on your children and /or others all the time. Now is the time to understand that this habit won’t help you with any health issue and in fact is highly detrimental to you facing the work that needs to be done. If you are one of these people you can decide to do it for your children or for your future generations. They need us to do our own healing first before putting on their oxygen masks.
Katie Kalin is a kinesiologist and wellness coach with over 30 years experience working with groups and individuals. She runs a private clinic in Cork City and also does online kinesiology/coaching consultations. She believes that we can access our innate wisdom that is connected to universal intelligence, through muscle testing. Access one free half hour consultation with her through www.katiekalin.com