Your experience of life improves when you close the gap between what you think is ‘supposed to happen’ in your human experience and your actual experience of ‘what is’ happening. When you close this gap, many of the frustrations, griefs and pain disappear from your life as you experience it now.

Why we need to ditch the fairy tales.

How you experience your life is based on fairy tales that cause a lot of misunderstanding about life. They also get you to enter into a fight or argument with life.

Child or adult?

When you don’t practice your adult discernment, you fall back into the child’s fantasy world of beliefs like: “There is a perfect man out there.” I will be looked after forever.” “My validation will always come from others.” “Our family is perfect.” “My mother is perfect.” “My father is perfect”. “My past is over and done with.” “My future circumstances will be whatever I choose,” and so on.

It shouldn’t be like this!

If we remain in these childrens’ fairy tale fantasies, we can’t accept that life actually doesn’t adhere to these fantasies. Any energy we have for presenting ourselves to the reality of what is, is entwined with our deep belief that ‘it shouldn’t be like this’.

Put the blame, avoid and complain game away

This creates a conflict in us that, deep in our minds, earns us the right to complain, avoid, blame and procrastinate. The only cure for this is to place fairy tales where they belong. Place them firmly in the bin and look at life with eyes that aren’t blurred by rose coloured lenses.

Confronting ‘What Is’ and the truth about ‘Fairness’

If we have put our fairy tales in the bin, we confront ‘what is’ with a clear head, a sound mind and an open heart. This means we don’t complain, blame, or avoid what must be done. Instead we get on with life knowing that the road will be up and down, bumpy and smooth, easy and not so easy. We engage with life from a perspective and a belief system that acknowledges that life doesn’t ‘play fair’. We know that ‘fair play’ is a concept made up by humans to try and bring order to their reality.

What we are in reality

Our experience of life is actually the result of billions of energies swirling around randomly, and not so randomly (in patterns). They are continually meeting in different combinations, in different space and time zones. They are all expressing their ‘writ’ and combine with other ‘writs’ to create circumstances which we experience as our life.

We can’t control life

We can’t control life, and we are arrogant if we think that we do. This arrogance has led to all manner of damage to our planet, our environments and to our relationships with humans and other animals. When we accept that life is superior to our tiny part in it, we can relax and get on with enjoying what it presents to us.

Enjoy experiencing all of it

There will be moments of splendour or despair, great delight or great boredom. There will be laughter and pain. We can encompass all of these things within one hour. And just like changing weather patterns, it won’t ever become ‘finished’, done or completed until we die.

Appreciating the complexity of life

Our adult selves must realise that we don’t live in a fairy tale or a Grimms book. We live in a complex, diverse, random, often chaotic universe that luckily creates patterns out of this chaos. This allows us to produce a schedule which gives us things like day and night, seasons and calendars. Within this promise of order, lies our tendency to always want to know what comes next.

The antidote to fear of the unknown

But we never truly know what comes next. We only know that anything can happen, and does. Once we get over the fear of this, it is truly liberating. We don’t rely on things staying the same or people staying the same, or life being predictable for our wonderful story to unfold. Instead we get on with the hand we have been given and use it to play our best game.

Seeking order in chaos

We know that if, when, what and why are all projections of a mind which is trying to seek order in the chaos. And we give it a rest, knowing that a good day is any day that we wake up breathing.

Our mystery of life is truly magical

Our lives play out their unknown mysteries every day. We won’t get to our final place of eager entry into a new mystery, until we fully experience what we are. We are infinite binary systems of planetary dust. Some mysterious force has created awesome patterns of life both within our bodies and in our percieved worlds. We are truly awesome, as awesome as the universe. And we may hold all of the universe within each of our cells, within each of our particles. Such is the magical mystery of life.

Programming and how it interferes with happiness

When we can let go of the need for predicting our future to make us feel safe, we can truly experience the wonder of life in both its chaotic and ‘reliable’ patterned forms. The only thing to fear is your judgement that is based on the fairy tales that have programmed you. You can add all religious fairy tales to this body of programming and all family progams and all cultural patterns. They are all entwined and get us confused about the nature of reality.

The nature of reality

The nature of reality is not a story, or a great painful win/lose paradigm. It is far greater than that. It is energy with billions of options in every nano-second. These options can be easy and get easier, or feel hard and get harder. But these options don’t just rely on YOUR decisions or wishes. They are reliant on all of the other nano-options going on with every person, place and time, All history and future energies are also affecting these complex multi-dimensional, micro-decisions.

How can the future be affecting us now?

You may ask, how on earth can future energies be affecting anything, if they are not in existence yet? The truth is there is no such thing as the future. Because future doesn’t materialise ‘in the future’, it can only materialise in the now. That may be hard to get your head around, but its true.

The future is now

Everything that is happening in any given moment, is in fact, a future moment in relation to the last moment you experienced. And every moment that is experienced as the past, is in fact a now moment, simply for the fact that you are experiencing it in some way, shape or form, right now.

Another shot of ‘Fairy Tale’

So there really only is now, and how we engage with ‘now’ is what brings us to a place of happiness and contentment, or a place of despair or pain. When in pain many give themselves another ‘shot of fairy tale’ to get them through the ‘bad patch’.

A bad patch is only as bad as you judge it

But your bad patch isn’t actually bad. It’s only judged that way because it doesn’t fit in with your fairy tale, and that feels totally unacceptable. It’s judged like this: “My life isn’t supposed to be like this.”

Removing suffering

If you choose to think about all of this, you will start to understand why we create so much pain in our lives. You are able to remove suffering through simply experiencing ‘what is’ fully, and without judgement. Every time we enter into a place of the unknown we are being placed in a great whirl of chaotic possibilities that will eventually create a new patterns. Such is the nature of life. Look up mathematical Chaos Theory to understand this more.


To summarise, your life is based on fairy tales programmed into you since time immemorable through your genes, family, culture, schooling, religion, and also, surprise, surprise, being read fairy tales at night. These fairy tales have nothing to do with reality and everything to do with trying to create order out of chaos.

Why have we needed fairy tales and why do they continue?

Because we humans don’t enjoy chaos very much. We have been led to believe that it is associated with things going wrong, people dying and great disasters. But chaos is the binary opposite to order and without chaos we can never produce order. This is the nature of the universe as proven by physics and mathematical theories.

Great artists or inventors sit with their feelings of chaos.

The greatest artists and inventors know that eventually, after a period of chaos, an answer or a pattern will emerge. The classic ‘light at the end of the tunnel,’ some would say. Some will call this entry into chaos the ‘dark night of the soul’ or ‘a period of depression,’ ‘a time of great yearning,’  ‘feeling confused’ or ‘your worst fears coming to fruition.’

When you envision your life as perfect, your world will always disappoint you.

When you envision your life as perfect without understanding ‘what is’ your world will always disappoint you. This is because there will always be a big gap between your perception of ‘what you think should  be’ and ‘what is’. And the greater the distance between these two, the more you experience frustration, despair and victim mentality.

Moving from programmed childhood to the freedom of adulthood

When you throw out the fairy tales designed for children, you can step into a new understanding of the world. Your perception can start to wholely embrace whatever is going on, or materialising in your life right now.

What you can rely on

You will trust there is some pretty amazing chaotic energy whirling around, which will eventually settle into a new pattern.This is something you can rely on. You won’t have to worry or wait or try and change it. Instead you will embrace whatever turns up fully. You will embrace it with the arms of someone who appreciates the sheer wonder of all of it, as part of your mysterious and absolutely miraculous life.

Katie Kalin is a kinesiologist  with over 30 years experience working with groups and individuals. She runs a private clinic in Cork City and also does online kinesiology/coaching consultations.. Access one free half hour onine consultation with her to experience surrogate muscle testing through