A wise woman’s guide to getting what you need.
Know what you want and why you want it.
Most people know what they don’t want, and why. But many don’t know what they do want, or why they want it. There is no point in wanting something if you don’t know why you want it. It’s like saying “I want a grand piano but I don’t have room for it. I don’t play piano, I don’t want to learn it, and I don’t know anyone who plays piano!” You end up with a problem instead of an asset when you work towards getting something, but have no idea why you want it. So first of all know what you do want and more importantly, know why you want it.
Get clear about what is worth wanting, by knowing what you will lose.
When you become enamored with something you want, people often advise you to ask yourself: “How will I feel when I get it?” But you should also consider “How will I feel when I lose it?” This is because many things that you strive to get in your life are eventually lost. This happens either while you are alive, or if not then, when you die. There will come a time when you no longer have the fancy car, or the big house or all of the ‘stuff’ you are accumulating. At some point we have to let go of all of it. You can’t actually miss what you’ve never had, but you will definitely grieve for the loss of anything you’ve ‘loved’. This includes material possessions that you’ve loved or invested in, but that you must leave behind.
Invest in your personal growth.
Your primary reason for being on earth is to grow and learn. If you are not growing and developing, you are quite simply, stuck. Each time you expand yourself you gain more than from anything you could ever possess. When you expand yourself through experiences and challenges, you begin to realise that nothing is impossible. You start to realise that you can have anything you really want, so you don’t feel so greatly driven to have it. You also learn that you don’t really need much to feel great, because the feelings come from inside you,and your possessions.
You can learn to center your security in yourselves instead of in material possessions. Invest in your own personal growth first, instead of things that come and go. When you invest in your own personal development, it can never break down, be taken away from you by a bank, or become another pressure in your life to keep maintained or sustained.
Why consumerism doesn’t fulfill us.
Consumerism or a gathering of ‘stuff’ for it’s own sake can be addictive. Often people decide what is important for comfort, status, or their future, without really thinking it through. Instead we are all programmed by our culture to value certain things without really enquiring into their true value in our lives.
Remember that all of your ‘stuff’ won’t be going anywhere with you in the end. And it can really weigh you down while you are here. Being weighed down with possessions usually results in them being treated better than you treat yourself. By this I mean that if all of your time and money is going into maintaining your cars and houses and so on, you’ll find it harder to put yourself at the top of the list and maintain yourself.
What does ‘looking after yourself’ really mean?
Maintaining yourself means good food, plenty of rest, exercise, time to enjoy being alive, time with others and also alone time to process life. Fill your life up with pressure to make loads of money to gather possessions, or symbols of status and along with all the time working there is the need to maintain or sustain everything. People who get into this situation often find there is little time left for the true ‘stuff’ of being present to, and enjoying your own life.
Don’t underestimate the power of media to fool you.
Our western society is based on consumerism and it tries to make us believe that we need all sorts of things to be acceptable. Things like a good job that pays well (even though it probably consumes most of our life), a car, a flash house, and whatever the neighbours have. Enlisting our gentle spirit won’t stop the lies that the media and popular culture feed us, but when we place ourselves in our deepest values, we are less easily swayed by popular culture and fashions. It is ony by enquiring into our deepest values that we find what truly is important to invest in.
We follow trends when we don’t know ourselves very well.
Our primary reason for following popular culture is that we don’t know ourselves very well.When we really know ourselves we can say no to things, knowing they are not right for us, even though most people think those things are a good idea, maybe even vital to a happy life. But if you recognise your true power and ability to create through alignment, you’ll beging to understand this tremendous capacity you have for creating what you want. When we know for sure that our own reality matches the energy we emit, we don’t worry about having much because we know that we are always more than enough. We know that we are able to create everything we could ever need or want and so there is no sense of desperation – to keep up with anyone, to have anything, to be anything. We learn how to play with life and simply enjoy it. And I mean all of it. That means also what you judge as bad or difficult or challenging.
Be aware that Western culture feeds you with lies.
Most of your parents (in the western world) were brought up to believe that getting a good job and paying the bills and earning lots of money was the most important thing. Security was the buzzword. This was not their fault. It was taught to them and impressed on them by their western culture, their families, religious and educational systems.
How we can engage with life through our gifts
But in reality every person comes with their own unique gifts and great spirit to give to the world. And this isn’t reliant on any job or paypacket, but on the creative spirit that you are born with. When you get clear about your gifts and strengths and how you can use them, you won’t necessarily need a traditional 9-5 job because you will learn how to create and engage with the world on your own terms. You won’t need a job or house to feel secure, because your security springs from within you, and then you naturally make wise choices that won’t leave you on the street.
Many successful people never got a university degree
It may be that you won’t know your gifts for a while, but don’t allow your dysfunctional culture to program you. Don’t let it make you believe that you can’t pursue what really makes you happy. Get an education, but know that what you learn is not cast in stone. It is not the be-all and end-all. It can be overwritten by more profound knowledge that is learned later on. This has often happened in the past – remember how most people believed the earth was flat. They thought that Copernicus was a madman, but he actually knew the truth. Many of the most successful people in the world have had no formal qualifications or university degree, unless it was bestowed on them later for their achievements.
Becoming more conscious of the impact of our choices
When life unfolds its mysteries, the popular ‘truths’ of the past are often found to be erroneous. This has been well known throughout history and this natural unfolding won’t change or slow down. In fact it is speeding up. In the evolutionary sense humans are like toddlers and our society doesn’t understand much about many important things yet. Most are only now becoming aware of the need to reduce consumerism for the sake of the planet, which vitally, sustains us all.
Our world won’t ever stop developing, changing and evolving. So stay flexible, travel light and enjoy the journey.
Katie Kalin is a kinesiologist with over 30 years experience working with groups and individuals. She runs a private clinic in Cork City and also does online kinesiology/coaching consultations.. Access one free half hour onine consultation with her to experience surrogate muscle testing through www.katiekalin.com
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